when you meet someone

eventually you depend on the person
she makes me feel happy
never gotten angry at me
almost
perfect
...
and yet we're denied
or rather we act too rash
...
i'm wondering now,am i over-dependent?
i look for someone everytime i come online
and if i'm really down
she cheers me up
no matter what
and i just feel so...
serene?
first time someone ever made me happy always
and now i'm losing it
losing her
losing everything
losing all sense of reason
losing all the friends i've trusted
losing everyone i've ever known
losing all sense of friendship and judgement
losing everything that's right
and gaining what was meant to be lost
...
to everyone
whom i used to speak a lot
whom i called my closest friend
i deeply apologise
why?
because i've been a darn fool
i've never understood friendship
mango was right,you can never have more than one best friend
that's the definition of best,isn't it?
TAKE THIS AGONY AWAY FROM ME
stupid me stupid me stupid me
i...don't know where to go
karl